"Peaches, put down that knife!" As those words came out of my mouth, the reality of my life became all too clear: mine was not registering anywhere in the normal range. When one finds oneself confronting a knife wielding black-headed caique in one's kitchen - and knows the bird on a first name basis - the handwriting on the wall becomes quite legible. And it says, "Things have most definitely gotten a tad odd around here." Albeit, it was only a small, orange-handled paring knife...

I was enjoying a rare respite a few days ago, lunching with a dear friend and relating the latest creature-based insanity of my life when she said, "You really should be blogging about this." So you can blame her for all that follows.

While it's not the sort of life I would recommend, there is a certain amount of entertainment value to the day to day happenings around the 5+ acres I inhabit with my husband and what we fondly call "the zoo." I figure I can spare you the pain of trying this sort of thing on your own and let you experience it vicariously. All of the laughs and none of the blood, so to speak.

Along with Peaches, the swashbuckling black-headed caique, the psittacine population includes two Congo African greys named Phantom and Phoebe. Phantom is the eldest of the group at 14. We adopted him at the age of seven from an exotic bird store where he was on consignment. Word to the wise: don't ever believe that you can kill an hour in an exotic bird shop without dire consequences. Peaches and Phoebe are both 8 year old females who came from a pet store in the area. And, yes, the parrots all talk. The greys speak very clearly and often fool unwitting humans - but not the dog. They have extensive vocabularies of both shared and unique vocalizations. Ranging from a sweet little "That good?" when they'd like to share whatever you might have to firm commands to the dog to piercing renditions of my bread machine beep. Peaches has a higher, less clear voice, but talks a good bit, especially for a caique. Anything she covets is a "good apple." There is nothing quite like living with creatures who can communicate in your native tongue.

I wish to make it clear that parrots are wild animals and do not make good pets for normal people. They are not creatures who can live their lives closed in cages, they need to be able to explore their environment (chew your woodwork, cabinets, books, computers,...), spend lots of quality time with their flock (you - Phoebe spends the better part of many days on my left shoulder), be loud (especially when you're on the phone), and  make a mess (ALL OF THE TIME, EVERYWHERE - it's their job in the wild). They are expensive to maintain (organic food, costly vets, new cabinetry, computer repairs,...) and require toxin-free homes (good-bye candles, cleaning products, Teflon, air "fresheners",...) . If you ever think that a parrot would make your life complete, please give me a call so that I can talk you down. Yes, they make my life much richer, but at great expense to my personal freedom and pocket.

The feline population is a whole story in and of itself to be dispensed in tiny pieces over time lest you are sorely overwhelmed. I will say that we lost our dear Eliot on Easter Sunday after 15+ years together. He was a lovely gentleman of a cat, a friend to all, and cuddle-er extraordinaire. He was the social facilitator of the whole brood and will be dearly missed by all who knew him.

Then there is Bailey my beloved fawn boxer. She came to me through a FreeCycle exchange for a bunch of Pfaltzgraff Heritage dishes. A tale for another day. She was rescued from neglect and found paradise. To sum it up, there's a sign on the back door, given to me by that same dear friend mentioned previously, that reads: A spoiled rotten boxer lives here.

Besides my position as staff for parrots and cats and dog, my life is filled with growing organic things, cooking mostly healthy things, cleaning way too many things (usually soiled by the aforementioned creatures), finding clever ways to do things (my dad was an industrial engineer!), looking at and up things on the internet, and working to see the hand of God in all things. I'm sure I have neglected to mention things important, but they will surely come out at some point along the way.


Disclaimer: all typos are the fault of a cat or a parrot. Thank goodness, the dog doesn't care for technology. As I type, there is a purring cat writhing on the keyboard (numerous corrections were necessary to get to this point with a good chance I missed a few).

Welcome to the journey! I look forward to opportunities to laugh, learn, share, appreciate, and enjoy one another's company along the way.